Richie Andrews felt the soft buzz on his wrist from his UP band, which was set to wake him each morning. (The beauty of the UP band is you can program it to wake you up at any time and it will buzz you awake within twenty minutes of that time when you are in a light sleep rather than a deep sleep so you feel more alert and awake. That type of buzz alarm also doesn’t wake up your wife either—an added bonus.)
Richie held the button on the band, changing the function from sleep mode to awake mode, as he slowly and quietly rolled out of bed. His wife Allison was in a deep, restful-looking sleep.
Geez, she looks incredible! Why the hell am I getting up so early when I could be in bed with her for another three hours? Right, I’m coaching with Scott and need to get out early.” Richie rubbed his eyes and tiptoed to the bathroom, regretting with every waking second that he had agreed to help Scott. Sitting at his kitchen table with the laptop sending a glow around the room, he ate his Honey Nut Shredded Wheat reading about the scores from last night’s NBA and college games. He grimaced. Son of bitch, all three don’t cover. I need to go through the highlights and see how those bastards blew that for me. He got up from the table, cradling his orange juice and cereal in his arms and walked to the living room so he could watch highlights on ESPN.
He turned on the TV and the on-demand screen pops up. Sipping his orange juice, he slowly realizes in his sleepy state what is showing on the screen. He coughs, and has OJ comes out his nose. Holy Schnikes! What the eff!
His wife had been watching Skin-a-Max.
Geez, I’m going to kill Scott. Go to bed at 8 freaking 30 so I can coach and my beautiful wife is watching porn on TV. I am freaking wasting her sexual prime!”
After putting his dishes in the sink and brushing his teeth, a frustrated Richie headed out the door to drive to United Bell to start the early shift so he can get out of work at 2:30 and get to practice. Driving by the Cumby’s to get a morning paper, he left empty-handed, shaking his head. Too damn early for even the newspaper. Walking into United Bell, the first person Richie saw was Cindy, the third shift dispatcher, her head resting in both hands while she looked down at the magazine in front of her. “Hey, Cindy. How is it going tonight . . . or should I say this morning?” Richie greeted Cindy cheerfully.
Cindy’s head dropped down and her forehead almost smacked the desk before she caught herself, jerking her head up quickly in shock. “Wha—? Oh! Hi, Richie.”
Richie laughed and smiled, “Sleeping on the job. Sweet technique . . . it looked like you were reading the magazine.”
“Yeah. Need the technique. Those damn security cameras will catch me sleeping, and I might lose my job. I swear they are not security cameras but employee gotcha cam’s.” Cindy said with a roll of her eyes toward the cameras. She began to print out Richie’s work schedule for the day.
Richie nodded in approval of her complaint “Agreed. That is why they have GPS in all the work vehicles. Forget about finding a nice parking lot or quiet deserted road to take a nap now. Big brother tracks us the whole work day.”
“I am sure you will find a way to get your nap, Richie.” Cindy smiled and handed Richie his schedule. Richie waved a “see ya” as headed out the door to get his bucket truck for the day’s work.
Richie headed for his first job of the day—a simple transfer point on the side of the road in Portland. Pulling the bucket truck off the road, he heads over to the huge panel with his flashlight (yes, it was still dark enough to need a flashlight at four freaking thirty in the morning). Cordless drill in hand, he removed the panel cover, being extra careful not to drop the screws on the ground in the darkness. Tough enough finding a needle in a haystack if I drop these screws in the daylight. After wrapping up the job, which took longer than usual due to darkness, Richie almost dropped the screws after all while putting the panel cover back because his phone chimed with a notification, catching him by surprise. He secured the screws then looked at the incoming text.
Allison: What were you watching this morning?
Richie: Great question! I was going to ask you that Mrs. Skin-a-max.
Allison: That wasn’t me using on-demand.
Richie: It wasn’t me. I thought you were watching it last night b/c you are hitting your sexual peak.
Allison: HAHA! Not me and not peaking sorry to crush your dreams.
Richie: Almost woke you before I left thinking you were all frisky.
Allison: I would of killed you!
Richie: If it wasn’t me or you that means it must have been Jeremy. Geez he is only 12!
Allison: Oh Boy! Who takes care of this one me or you.
Richie: I will take care of it and talk to him but we are going to totally freak him out about it. I will come up with something today.
Allison: Sounds good. Never wake me up at 3:30 for sex by the way. Love U
Richie: No problem. I will just watch porn with our son. Love you too.